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aur ammee ankal ke har jhatake pe- "aaahh... saphadar aur tej karo mereeeeee jaan... mera hone vaala hai oooohah phaad daalo meree phuddee ko... kutiya bana daalo mujhe unammm ha... ooooo... aaaieeyeeee... saphadar..." kee ek tej aavaaj ke saath hee ammee ka jim ek baar jara machala aur phir dheela pad gaya. ammee nidhaal see hokar mere oopar gir see gaee ki tabhee boond-boond meree ammee kee phuddee se bahata paanee unakee raanon pe bahane laga, jise mainne chaat ke saaph kar diya aur neeche se nikal gaya. ammee ke neeche se nikalate hee mainne ammee ko apanee taraph kheencha aur seedha lita diya aur apana land ghusaakar apanee ammee kee chudaee karane laga. tab saphadar ankal ne apana land ammee ke munh mein ghusa diya aur badee bedardee se apana land ammee ke munh mein andar-baahar karane lage. us vaqt ammee kee haalat badee kaabil-e-raham lag rahee thee kyonkee ek taraph to main unakee taabadatod phuddee maar raha tha aur doosaree taraph saphadar ankal unake munh mein apana land ghusaakar chusava rahe the. jisase ammee ke munh se poon-ghoon galappp-galappp kee aavaaj nikal rahee thee, jo mujhe bhee charam kee taraph le ja rahee thee. lekin mere paanee chhodane se pahale hee saphadar ankal ke munh se sisakiyon kee aavaaj nikalane lagee jo kioooohah salama saaleeeeee chuss le aaahah... mera nikalane vaala hai oooooh..." kee aavaaj nikalee. aur phir saphadar ankal ke jishm ko halka jhataka sa laga aur unaka saara paanee ammee ke munh ke andar aur baahar bhar gaya, jise ammee bade pyaar se apanee jubaan nikaalakar ankal ke land ko chaat ke saaph karane lagee. ye manjar dekhakar meree apanee bardaasht bhee khatam ho gaee aur mein bhee 6-7 tej jhatakon ke saath hee- "ooohah... ammee main aaya..." kee aavaaj ke saath ammee kee phuddee mein phaarigh ho gaya, aur unake oopar hee nidhaal sa hokar gir gaya. phaarighr hone ke baad kuchh der tak to main ammee ke oopar hee leta raha. phir uthakar ammee kee said pe hokar let gaya,
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to ammee said se ek kapada uthaakar apanee phuddee ko saaph karake uthee aur apane kapade lekar baatharoom kee taraph chal dee. ankal ne kaha- "kya hua salama begam, kahaan chal dee?" to ammee ne kaha- "baatharoom ja rahee hoon jara saaph saphaee bhee to karanee hai na?" ammee kee baat sunakar ankal ne kaha- "kyon yaar kya aur iraada nahin hai tumhaara?"ammee ne kaha- "nahin janaab ab jo bhee karana hai kal din mein karenge, vo bhee tumhaare makaan pe yahaan nahin.. "ankal- yaar salama, kyon maja kharaab kar rahee ho? tumhen pata hai na mujhe kitanee ulajhan hotee hai is tarah? ammee- jee pata hai, lekin aap shaayad bhool rahe hain ki saath vaale room mein pharee aur nida bhee so rahee hainammee kee baat sunakar ankal ne kaha- to kya hua yaar? unako kya pata yahaan kya chal raha hai? aur phir sannee bhee to hai na yahaan aur pharee bhee sab jaanatee hai to kyon ham bechaaron ko soolee pe lataka rahee ho tum? ammee- dekho saphadar, maana ki pharee ko sab pata hai. lekin nida to abhee bachchee hai, vo ye sab nahin jaanatee aur main nahin chaahoongee ki use kuchh pata chale. samajhe aap? isalie ab jo karana hoga tum donon kal kar lena. main ankal ka haath dabaate huye ammee se bola- "theek hai ammee koee baat nahin, aap jao aur chenj karo baakee kal dekha jaega..." ammee ke jaane ke baad mainne ankal se kaha- "kya aap meree ammee se shaadee karoge?"to ankal ne hairaanee se kaha- "kya matalab hai tumhaara? jara khul ke batao?" mainne ankal ko apana saara plaan bata diya jo ki main din bhar sochata raha tha.
to ankal mera plaan sunakar bole- "yaar ho to tum bhee pakke haraamee, lekin tumhaaree ammee kis tarah maanegee shaadee ke lie..." mainne kaha- "ankal ye aap ka siradard hai. lekin agar meree jaroorat padee to main aur baajee pharee bhee aap ka poora saath den..." tab ankal ne haan mein sir hila diya aur soch mein gum ho gaye. tabhee ammee bhee baatharoom mein se aa gaee aur aate hee bed pe sone ko let gaee. main aur saphadar ankal ammee ke donon taraph nange hee lete apanee-apanee sochon mein gum the ki pata hee nahin chala ki kab neend aaee aur main so gaya. meree aankh khulee to ammee mujhe jaga rahee thee. main jhat se utha aur ammee kee taraph dekhakar bola- "jee ammee kya baat hai?"ammee ne kaha- "7:00 baj chuke hain aur nida nahaakar kichen mein chalee gaee hai. kaheen vo yahaan is room mein hamen uthaane na aa jae, isalie jaldee se utho aur kapade pahano nahaakar. kab tak nange hee pade rahoge?" main jhat se utha aur dekha to ankal kaheen najar nahin aae. to ammee ne kaha saphadar chala gaya hai apane makaan pe. tum naha lo.ab to main jhat se kapade lekar baatharoom mein chala gaya aur nahaakar pharee baajee vaale room mein ghus gaya jahaan baajee apane oopar kambal lie so rahee thee. main aage badha aur baajee ke oopar se halka sa kambal pakadakar neeche ko. sarakaaya to baajee kee aankh khul gaee. lekin meree ye dekhakar aankhen khulee kee khulee rah gaeen ki baajee kee choochiyaan bilkul nangee theen. baajee ne meree taraph dekhakar halka sa mushkura ke apanee aankhen band kar lee. kuchh der tak main aise hee khada raha aur baajee ko dekhata raha aur phir ek jhatake se baajee ka kambal utaar diya to mujhe bhee jhataka laga, kyonkee baajee kambal ke neeche bilkul nangee najar aa rahee thee.
mainne ek haath se baajee kee raanon ko jara sa khola to baajee buree tarah sharma gaee aur apana chehara meree taraph se ghuma liya aur apana ek haath chehare pe rakhakar mujhase munh chhupaane lagee. abhee main baajee ko is haal mein dekh hee raha tha aur apane khade ho jaane vaale land ko sahala hee raha tha ki room ka daravaaja khula aur ammee room mein aa gaee aur baajee ko is haal mein dekhakar aur mujhe baajee ke paas khade. apana land sahalaata dekhakar ammee ko thoda gussa sa aa gaya aur vo jara gusse se bolee- "kuchh sharm lihaaj bhee hai tum logon ko ya nahin? "daravaaja khulane aur ammee ko is tarah andar aate dekhakar baajee ne ek jhatake se kambal ko phir se apane oopar kheench liya sir se oopar tak. tab ammee bolee- "chalo ab ye draama band karo sharmaane ka, aur jaldee se nahaakar kapade pahan lo..." ammee itana bolakar room se nikal gaee. baajee ne sir se kambal hataakar dekha aur phir uthate haye bolee- "bhaee dekh to lete ki daravaaja bhee band hai ya nahin?" aur baatharoom kee taraph chal dee. baatharoom mein baajee ke jaate hee main bhee peechhe hee gaya aur bola- "baajee kya khayaal hai ek saath hee na naha len?" baajee ne kaha- paagal, chal nikal yahaan se ammee pahale hee gussa hain. mainne baajee ke paas jaakar unhen ek kis kiya aur baatharoom mein se nikal aaya aur bed pe let gaya, jahaan ab se kuchh der pahale baajee nangee soee huee thee. ye khayaal aate hee mujhe achaanak khayaal aaya ki kaheen baajee aur. nida donon hee to raat ko kuchh karatee nahin rahee hain? ye khayaal aate hee mera land phir se haee hone laga ki ho sakata hai raat baajee ne nida ke saath mastee kee ho. kuchh der main apane is khayaal mein magan raha aur land hila-hila ke maja leta raha, aur phir uthakar baatharoom kee taraph chal diya, jahaan se ab paanee girane kee aavaaj band ho chukee thee. jaise hee mainne baatharoom ka daravaaja khola to baajee us vaqt naha chukee thee aur bra pahan chukee thee.
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mujhe phir se daravaaja pe khada dekhakar baajee ne kaha- "kyon kaameene, ab kya aur beijjatee karavaanee hai meree tumane ammee se?" aur itana bolate huye kameej pahanakar bolee- "bhaee abhee ammee pooree tarah dil se hamaara saath dene ko taiyaar nahin huee hain, jara sabar se kaam lo samajhe?" baajee ko is tarah bheege badan geele baalon mein kapade pahane mere saamane dekhana koee aasaan kaam nahin tha. dil to chaah raha tha ki baajee ko phir se nanga karake land ghusa doon lekin main aisa kar nahin sakata tha iseelie thandee aaah bharakar rah gaya. main vahaan se palata aur baahar aakar baith gaya aur jor se ammee ko aavaaj dee aur bola- "ammee naashta kitanee der mein milega? tab ammee kee jagah nida bolee- "bhaee pahale aap baajee se ijaajat to le lo ki vo aapako naashta dena bhee chaahatee hain ya nahin?" aur saath hee hehehehe karane lagee. main thoda hairaan hua ki ammee kee maujodagee mein ye kis tarah shokh ho rahee hai? aur bola- nida ammee kahaan hain? nida ne kaha- "vo jara kareeb kee dukaan tak gaee hain ande khatam ho gaye the..." ye jaanate hee kee ammee ghar pe nahin hain, main jhat se bola- "vaise yaar nida, baajee kee chhodo vo to mujh gareeb ko naashta de hee detee hain. lekin tum batao ki dogee ya nahin?"
nida jhat se bolee- "na baaba, main nahin dene vaalee. baajee se hee bolo vo hee dengee. vaise ab to mujhe pata chala hai kee ammee bhee de detee hain tumhen naashta... nida kee baat se main samajh gaya ki baajee ne nida ko ye bhee bata diya hai ki ab ammee ka bhee mere saath kuchh chal raha hai, to mainne kaha- "yaar jab tumhen pata hai ki baajee kee tarah ammee bhee mujhe naashta detee hain, to tumhen . kya aitaraaj hai? tum bhee de do. kasam se bade pyaar se karoonga main..." meree baat khatam hote hee mujhe pharee baajee kee aavaaj sunaee dee jo kah rahee thee- "kya karana hai tumane nida ke saath, vo bhee pyaar se?" main thoda hadabada gaya aur saamane dekha to baajee mere saamane hee khadee huee thee. baajee ko dekhakar main hans diya aur bola- "kuchh nahin baajee. nida se naashte ke lie bol raha tha ki kabhee-kabhee vo bhee de hee diya kare. kab tak aap aur ammee mujhe detee rahogee naashta..." aur halka sa hans diya. baajee bhee hans dee aur bolee- "kya ab hamaare naashte se man bhar gaya hai tumhaara, jo nida se bol rahe ho?" mainne kaha- "are nahin baajee, aap bhee kya bolatee ho. bhala aisa ho sakata hai kya?" abhee ham ye baaten kar hee rahe the ki ammee ghar vaapis aa gaee aur seedha kichen mein chalee gaee. to baajee bhee ammee ke peechhe hee kichen kee taraph lapak ke gaee aur naashta taiyaar karane mein ammee ka haath bataane lagee. naashta karane ke baad ammee ne pharee se kaha- "kya tum ab theek ho chalane mein, koee masala to nahin hai?" pharee baajee ne kaha- "nahin ammee, ab main phit hain aur koee khaas masala bhee nahin hota hai chalane mein..." ammee ne kaha- "to phir chalo baajaar se kuchh samaan laana hai ghar ke lie?"
ammee aur pharee baajee baajaar ke lie nikal gaee to main samajh gaya ki ammee pharee baajee se jara khule maahaul mein baat karana chaah rahee hain, kyonkee ab ammee akelee to nahin thee jo jahaan marjee aaee maja kar letee thee. ab unakee badee betee bhee unakee tarah hee chudakkad nikalee thee, iseelie ammee chaah rahee thee ki kyon na pharee se is baare mein baat kar hee lee jae, taakee baad mein koee pareshaanee na rahe. khair, ammee aur baajee ke jaane ke baad nida jo ki bartan uthaakar kichen mein le gaee thee aur ab bartan dho rahee. thee aur us vaqt ghar mein kyonkee mere ilaava nida hee thee to mainne socha kyon na aaj nida pe bhee traee maaree jae ki vo kya chaahatee hai? ye sochate huye main utha aur kichen mein chala gaya, jahaan nida bartan dho rahee thee aur bartan dhote huye hil bhee rahee thee. nida ke is tarah hilane se usakee gaand bada hee pyaara najaara de rahee thee. isalie main vaheen ruk gaya aur apanee chhotee bahan kee gaand ko bade pyaar se dekhakar nihaarane laga. tabhee nida ko bhee ehasaas hua ki koee kichen mein aaya hai, isee ehasaas ke saath jab usane mudakar dekha to mujhe apanee gaand kee taraph ghoorata paakar ekadam se meree taraph ghoom gaee aur bolee- bhaee kya chal raha hai?main- kakuchh nahin yaar vo... vo bas ghar mein koee bhee nahin hai na to socha ki kyon na tumase hee gapp-shap laga hoon bas ye sochakar hee yahaan aaya hoon. nida sharaaratee stail mein- vo to theek hai lekin ye tum kab se yahaan khade ho? aur mujhe peechhe se ghoor kyon rahe the?main- are abhee aaya hoon aur kya main apanee chhotee pyaaree see bahan ko dekh bhee nahin sakata hoon? nida- mujhe pata hai aap kin chakkaron mein ho? lekin main bata rahee hoon aapako abhee se hee ki yahaan tumhaaree daal galane vaalee nahin hai.
pharee baajee ke saath ab ammee bhee hain unhen dekha karo aise.main- achchha jee bhala kaise dekhata hoon main ammee ko aur pharee baajee ko? nida- bhaee abhee aap jao yahaan se, mujhe kaam karane do. baad mein baat kar lena jab main phree hooongee.main- "achchha baaba main hee chala jaata hain. kyonkee agar main kuchh der aur ruka to tum kuchh aur ilzaam bhee laga dogee mujhe pe..." aur hansata hua kichen se room mein aa gaya. thodee der ke baad nida bhee room mein aa gaee aur bolee- "jee bhaee ab bolo kya baat karanee thee aapane?" main- yaar kuchh khaas nahin, bas dil chaah raha tha ki kisee chudail se baat karoon to tumhaara khayaal aa gaya. nida- chalo bhaee main chudail hee bhalee. iseelie aapase ab tak bachee huee hoon, varana tumhaara kya pata ki kab se aankh rakhe huye ho. main- aaahah... nida bebee kitanee khushaphahamee hai na tumhen ki main tumape bhee lain maarata hoon. to saaree aisa bilkul nahin hai. nida- kyon bhaee kya pharee baajee mujhase jyaada khoobasooraat hain ya ammee? main nida kee baat se chaunk gaya aur usake chehara kee taraph dekha to jaana ke nida kee aankhon mein meree baat se . halke aansoo aa gaye the. nida kee haalat dekhakar mainne phauran kaha- "baat ye hai na bebee ki tum jitanee pyaaree ho. utanee hee naajuk bhee. iseelie main nahin chaahata ki main tumhaare saath kuchh aisa vaisa karoon jo tumhen naapasand ho ab samajhee tum?" nida meree baat sunakar halka sa mushkura uthee aur bolee- "achchha jee, tum to kah rahe the ki mujh pe najar nahin rakhate, lekin ab kuchh aur bol rahe ho..."main- haan baaba nahin rakhata najar, jao jo karana hai kar lo. nida- bhaee ek baat poochhoo aapase? main- haan poochho kya poochhana hai?
