The Girl Next Door(completed)

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8

Aarav walked into the room and immediately sensed the tension.

"What's the matter guys?" He asked, "Where's the babe?"

"We might have a problem," Armaan said calmly, "Where's the pretty boy?"

"Still sleeping," Aarav shrugged.

"Wake him up," Armaan said, "I don't have a good feeling about this."

"What exactly happened?" Aarav asked.

"I think I better drive there and check," Neil said frantically grabbing his car keys. Armaan nodded.

He was about to step out when his phone rang. It was Naina. Neil breathed a sigh of relief. But his relief was short lived.

Neil: "Hey Naina, are you..."

Meenu: Its me Meenu. Naina di seems to have left her phone here and gone somewhere.

Neil: Any idea where she went?

Meenu: I don't know, she was here early in the morning and she usually doesn't go anywhere this time of the day.

Neil: Did she say anything to you?

Meenu: Not really. But it was kinda weird, she came near my bed, she kissed me while I was sleeping. Perhaps she wanted to say something, I don't know...but she just hugged me and said that she loves me. I wasn't fully awake...that's all I remember. What happened Neil, is she in trouble?

Neil: No, not really, I was just checking on her. Could you do me a favor, could you please call back once she comes home? I'm getting kinda worried here.

Meenu: Sure.

Neil hung up.

Aarav was listening to the conversation and got the idea of the situation.

"I'll go get Rey," he said realizing the gravity of the situation.

After Reyansh joined the group, the others filled him in on the situation.

"So what exactly is the problem here?" he asked.

Armaan was annoyed. He said scornfully, "Hmm lets see, apart from the fact that we just might be facing rape and abetment to suicide charges soon, everything is alright in the good old world."

"Yo, that wasn't rape bro," he argued, "She was all wet and horny."

"Seriously Rey?" Armaan hissed, "Didn't you hear her saying "NO" repeatedly? Arousal doesn't imply consent...how dumb can someone..." He stopped midsentence and composed himself and spoke calmly. "Look guys, no one is pointing fingers here, it's just, we need to take this seriously ok?"

Everyone agreed. The men sat quietly, each thinking what to do next.

The silence was interrupted by the loud ringing of Neil's phone. Seeing Naina's name of the screen, he answered hoping for some good news.

But what he got was the opposite. It was Meenu crying on the other side.

Meenu: What did you do to her Neil?

Neil: What?

Meenu: Naina di is gone. She left me this note.

Neil: What note?

Meenu: She says you hurt her and she is going away for ever.

Neil: No, that's not true...I'm sure there is a misunderstanding...

Meenu: You are lying...you always hurt her, and I saw her this morning, she looked so weak...she wanted to tell me something, perhaps she was in pain...but I was sleeping...I wish I had woken up, I wish I had stopped her.

Neil: Listen Meenu, please don't cry...I'm sure Naina is fine, and we are going to find her together, alright? I'm driving to your place right now, and we are going to find her.

Meenu: Please bring her back, she is all I have.

Neil: We ARE going to bring her back alright? And she is going to be fine. Everything is going to be OK, you hear me? Just hold on while I reach you ok?

Meenu: OK, please hurry.

Neil hung up with a trembling hand.

"Great," Aarav sighed, "Now there a missing girl and a suicide note."

"What does the note say?" Armaan asked sharply.

"She says...that Naina wrote that I hurt her but I seriously doubt that. I can bet on my life that Naina would never accuse or implicate me," Neil said confidently.

"I figured," Aarav said, "This girl was no threat to us as long as she was alive coz she was never going to talk, but if she dies, well...her dead body just might talk. If they autopsy her body, they will have evidence against me and Rey...we can't let that happen. Neil, we need to find this girl, or her body before anyone else."

"Exactly my point," Armaan said firmly, "That suicide note is also a major cause for concern and we need to get our hands on it, as soon as possible."

"So do we leave now?" Reyansh asked.

"I think it is best if you and Aarav go home," Armaan said placing a hand on his shoulder. "This servant girl could be more trouble than she looks, I don't want her seeing you guys. Myself and Neil will handle this. You guys take care ok?"

"Agreed," Aarav said and passed on a pill to Armaan, "You might need this. It's a strong sedative. Mix it with food or water and she'll be sleeping beauty in no time."

Armaan took the pill and nodded. Neil and Armaan rushed to the car.

"Tell me about this girl, Meenu," Armaan said as he got into the passenger seat.

"Nothing special, really," Neil said as her started the car's engine and drove off, "Just a daughter of a servant who worked in their house. The accident that killed Naina's parents killed this girl's mother too. The family wanted to throw her out but Naina somehow convinced them to keep her as a servant so that the girl has a roof over her head. That's why they are somewhat attached to each other."

"Sounds more than somewhat attached," Armaan said as he slipped the pill into a water bottle.

Once they reached Naina's house, Neil called Meenu. She eagerly got into the car. Armaan quickly scanned the surroundings to make sure no one saw the girl get into their car. Neil drove off. In the rear-view mirror, he could see her tear streaked face.

"Show us the note Meenu," Neil said. She hesitantly handed it over to Armaan.

Armaan glanced through it quickly. "Drive to the nearest beach," he instructed Neil.

"You hurt her, didn't you Neil?" Meenu accused crying bitterly, "You did something very bad to her last night. She was so happy when she left home last night...she wore her favorite red dress...she was so excited! And in the morning when I saw her she was so sad and broken."

"There's been a misunderstanding sweetheart," Armaan interrupted her, "She was equally happy when she left here in the morning. Maybe something happened after she came home? Maybe someone in the family hurt her? I hope she'll tell us all about it once we find her."

"No!" Meenu shouted, "She wrote that she...failed in love...Neil broke her heart, he was the only one she loved and I know he did something very bad to her!"

"I know you wont believe me," Armaan said, "We must find Naina soon. She'll tell you everything. Do you have any idea where she could have gone? Did she say anything to anyone? Does anyone at home know where she went?"

Meenu's face saddened. "No one loves Naina di at home, no one listens to her. They treat her like a burden. I told everyone that she is missing but no one cared. Aunty even said good riddance that she is gone. I don't know why everyone treats her like this. She is such a sweet person. She is the only one who cares about me." Meenu began to cry uncontrollably.

"Did you tell anyone about the note? Or did you show the note to anyone?" Armaan asked.

"I didn't" she said, "No one cares about her. They would have just torn it away."

"That's really terrible," he said, "So I guess you didn't tell them that you were going to look for her."

Meenu shook her head quietly.

"Don't worry darling, we are going to find Naina," he tried to assure her.

As soon as they reached the beach, Meenu ran out of the car, tearfully looking for Naina. She kept calling out her name.

"Wait in the car," Armaan told Neil as he followed Meenu.

There weren't many people on the beach. Meenu kept calling Naina's name and looking for her but in vain. Naina was no where to be seen.

Feeling crushed, Meenu fell down on her knees. Armaan knelt in front of to her and hugged her, gently rubbing her back to pacify the grief-stricken girl. "I am sure she is ok. We will find her soon." he said.

Meenu rested her head on his shoulder and sobbed. Suddenly she saw something and screamed. Armaan turned to see what it was. Meenu ran towards the waves and picked up a shoe. She recognized that shoe. It was slightly torn towards the toe. I couldn't be anyone else's. Her grief turned into boiling anger.

She ran towards the car. She frantically began to hit Neil with both her hands.

"You killed her!" she screamed, "She was so happy last night when she felt home, and now she is gone! You did something very bad to her! Tell me! Tell me...what did you do? She was the only one who cared about me...you killed her...I won't let you get away with this!"

Meenu attacked Neil and tried to scratch him with her fingernails. Neil grabbed her hands in defense.

Armaan hugged her and tried to calm her down. She cried uncontrollably. She began to feel dizzy due to intense grief. Armaan offered her the water bottle that he had spiked with a sedative. She drank it without any suspicion.

Soon Meenu felt drowsy and fell into a deep sleep on the car's backseat.

Armaan got into the passenger seat and said with a sense of urgency, "Drive! Be quick."

"What exactly happened?" Neil asked nervously as he drove away from the beach.

"The girl died is what happened," Armaan said angrily.

"Shit!" Neil said, his heart now pounding with anxiety.

There was silence for quite some time.

"So what do we do now?" Neil asked.

"Keep driving," Armaan spoke in a dry tone.

Armaan reached out and took Naina's phone which Meenu had carried with her.

"Know the password?" he asked Neil.

"Yeah...just type in my name," Neil said.

Armaan unlocked Naina's phone and scanned it for anything that could incriminate them. It contained some pictures of her with Neil, some casual, some intimate. There were some romantic chats between them. Armaan erased all the content on the phone. Once he was sure there was no evidence on the phone, he removed the sim card and threw it out of the window. A little while later, as the car was moving over a bridge over a river, he broke the phone and tossed it out of the window making sure it falls in the deep fast flowing water. Neil felt such deep remorse but kept his eyes on the road and kept driving quietly.

"Take the next left and drive off the highway onto the dirt road," Armaan instructed Neil.

Neil followed instructions without a word. He was completely shaken as the consequences of his actions were unfolding. He was drowning in guilt. He drove far off the road and stopped in a secluded spot.

He looked at Meenu with tearful eyes.

"She is just asleep," Armaan said handing him over Naina's suicide note, "You were right. She hasn't implicated anyone."

Neil read the note with a heavy heart.

My dearest Meenu,

Forgive me little one, I couldn't give you the good life I had promised. But know that I have loved you the most and I will always love you. I was trying to find love but...I failed. Neil is a wonderful guy Meenu, he gave me a lot of love, but perhaps I'm not worthy of him. I am sorry I am leaving you all alone. I fear the horrors that lie in store for you in the future. I wish I could live for you, I wish I could fight for you...but I am afraid I don't have any strength left. I am broken, and tired, I want to rest now...I'm going to sleep in the embrace of the blue sea. Maybe I'll find the same love and solace that I once found in Neil's blue eyes.

Love

Naina


A tear fell from his eyes and smudged the ink.

"What have I done?" he spoke in deep regret, "I wish I had listened to you."

Armaan placed a hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

Neil just stared blankly for a while not knowing what to do or say.

"She really loved you Neil," Armaan said, "Even after everything, she didn't implicate you. There are so many ways people kill themselves, and yet she chose to drown herself, when she was so afraid of water. She was not dumb Neil, she knew her body is a huge piece of evidence that could hurt you. She wanted to make sure no one ever finds her even after death. She made an effort to ensure no harm comes to you. She wished you a good life." Then he looked at sleeping Meenu and continued, "But this one here, not so friendly."

Neil stared at Armaan trying to comprehend what he just said.

"Are you saying...we...no...she is...I just can't...!" he cried, "I'm feeling so guilty already, and you want me to hurt another innocent girl?"

"I warned you last night Neil, and I am warning you again now. This girl, there is a certain fire in her. And you clearly underestimated her love for Naina. If you let her go, your future may not be so bright. She will get you sooner or later," Armaan said.

"But..." Neil argued, "Maybe we can convince her that I had nothing to do with Naina's disappearance."

"Convince her? Really? How exactly are you going to do that?" Armaan replied, "No one else knows about the suicide note till now, but what if she decides to tell someone tomorrow? Naina is currently only 'missing' for the world, and in your defense, you dropped her home safely, and you don't know what happened after that."

"But" he continued, "If the word of a confirmed suicide goes out, it will be taken far more seriously, and will most likely be linked to you. Meenu already believes that you did something to Naina that forced her to take such an extreme step, if she alerts the police, and they start probing into it, it is going to open a Pandora's box."

"I am not a murderer!" Neil shouted desperately and his burden of guilt was now crushing his soul. He then realized the importance of what Armaan was saying and said tearfully "If it has to be done, please you do it or get someone do it...I don't want more blood on my hands...I just can't..."

Armaan took a deep breath and looked at Meenu once again. But even he couldn't muster the courage to murder an innocent girl. He thought for a while and said "Maybe we don't have to kill her."

Armaan dialled a number and spoke, "Yes connect me to Ivan please." There was a brief pause and he continued, "Hey it's me. I need you to take care of...someone. Yes, right now. I'm sending you the co-ordinates, get here asap."

Neil and Armaan waited in silence. A van appeared and stopped near their car.

"Ivan sent me," said a man who got out of the van.

"She is in the car," Armaan said, "She knows something she shouldn't. I don't want her ever coming back here."

"Don't worry about that," the man said, "She is far more useful to us and she ain't ever coming back. And we have ways to deal with that memory of hers."

There was no further word. Meenu was still sedated as the man took her from the car and placed her in the van and drove away.

Neil felt completely crushed. Armaan placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Some birthday, huh? Get the pool cleaned up and next time, listen to me brother," Armaan said patting on his back. "Now there's just one last thing to be done."

Neil knew what he meant. He quietly handed over Naina's suicide note. Armaan set it ablaze with his lighter and made sure it is burnt completely.

***************

Neil was lost in a trance. Memories of Naina flashing before his eyes.

"And do you know what happened to Meenu?" Meera spoke in a bitter tone, interrupting his thoughts.

"I am sorry," he said tearfully.

"You seen the scars, haven't you?" Meera said, "Now you know why I need medication to keep my sanity. The worst scars are never seen, though. They made every attempt to fuck with my head, they doped me, starved me, electrocuted me, locked me up in the dark for days. They wanted me to lose touch with reality, they wanted me to forget who I was and what I knew. But I didn't forget, I didn't forget anything even after years of being tortured and raped countless number of times...I.." she paused to wipe her tears, "I don't even care what happened to me. I only cared about Naina. She was such a beautiful soul. After my mother died, Naina di took care of me, she gave me so much love, made sure I get enough food, sometimes brought me presents, nursed me when I was sick, taught me to read and write, she tried to give me a good life...and you, just used her! She loved you, she endured so much pain just for your sick sadistic pleasure and you threw her in front of your friends once you were done using her. You let them rape her! I can't ever sleep peacefully...I see her weep, I hear her scream, she was in pain and I couldn't help her...I should have woken up that morning, I should have held her and told her how much I loved her, how much I needed her..."

"Please," Neil gasped, "Forgive me, it was a mistake."

"MISTAKE?" Meera shouted, "It was no fucking mistake...It was rape, it was murder! You deserve to be punished for it, you deserve to suffer, to rot in prison!"

"Please Meera," Neil begged, "I'll do anything to make it up to you."

Meera smiled, "Of course you will, today you'll do anything for me."

Neil looked up at her. She just smiled back.

"Look," she said showing pointing him towards a screen that blinked as she pressed a button. Neil panicked when he saw his two daughters on the screen. They appeared safe and sound and were enjoying a meal with a woman. He recognized the woman as the one Reyansh has mentioned was a prostitute. His blood began to boil with rage.

"You lay a finger on my girls and I'll make you regret," he threatened.

"Save your toothless aggression. I can do that and a lot more. Alisha is a trusted friend, she is as deadly an assassin as she is charming. She knows her way around people. She has your girls eating out of her hand already. Their next meal may not be so...harmless." Meera reply calmly.

Neil struggled violently against the cage. "Don't you dare hurt my children!" he shouted.

Meera laughed at his pointless struggle. "You wanna do something about it?" she teased him grinning widely, "Try," she said as she continued laughing.

Neil calmed down after a brief struggle. Tears of helplessness welled up in his eyes. He knew there was nothing he could do to protect his daughters.

"You look priceless Neil," Meera said with a wide grin, "Struggling helplessly in a dog cage...I wonder how much anguish it would cause you to see your girls suffer right in front of your eyes and you could do nothing about it...Wouldn't that be something to relish?"

Neil just closed his eyes helplessly.

"...but I don't want to hurt them, honestly. Trust me Neil, if you knew what I went through as a little girl, you would know that the last thing I would do is to hurt little girls...unless you leave me with no choice." She said.

Neil looked up at her with a hint of hope in his eyes.

"I am going to let you out of that cage and you are going to do exactly as I say, or you won't like what happens next on that screen," Meera warned sternly.

Neil nodded, willing to do anything to make sure his daughters were unhurt.

Meera opened the door of the cage he was locked in. Neil eagerly got out of it and stood before her. Meera handed over a knife to him, handle first. He hesitantly took the knife trying to understand her intention.

Once the knife was in his hand, Meera spoke calmly, "Open that door. You'll find your wife there. Hold her in your arms, tell her you love her and slit her throat with that knife."

"WHAT?" Neil asked unable to process the nightmarish order she gave so calmly.

"Are you deaf or what?" Meera spoke with the same calmness, "For the last time, enter that room, find your wife, hold her in your arms, tell her you love her and slit her throat with that knife. If you don't do exactly as I said and Aditi is not dead in the next 10 minutes, or you try to hurt me or yourself, you will never see your children again."

"I can't..." Neil said trembling, "Aditi is innocent!"

"Innocent?" Meera scoffed, "Interesting how people use the word innocent as per their convenience. Don't worry she won't be the only innocent person who died."

"Please don't make me do this," Neil tearfully dropped to his knees and begged.

Meera didn't reply. She calmly set a timer on a digital clock and pointed towards it.

"I can't...I'm not a murderer Meera...if I knew Naina would die, I would have never..." he said as he dropped the knife.

Meera didn't care for any explanations. She said calmly, "You are wasting time. If you don't act in the next 8 minutes, you'll lose your entire family."

Her gaze was calm and cold.

He gazed one last time at the monitor showing his daughters still enjoying their meal. He knelt in front of the screen and gently traced a finger of the image of the girls.

"Please Meera...I beg you..." Neil begged once again.

"Seven minutes," Meera said coldly, "If Alisha doesn't hear from me in the next seven minutes, she will poison your children."

"Promise me," he spoke with determination, "You won't hurt my children if I carry out your sick demand."

"You have my word," Meera said with a smile, "If that even means anything to you."

Neil knew he had no choice. Meera's revenge plan was intricate and he was now deeply entangled. He walked slowly towards the door and entered the room. Aditi was lying on the floor, sedated but unhurt.

He lifted her in his arms and looked at her. She looked ever so beautiful, her dark hair hanging down her shoulders. Her eyes fluttered open, but she was subdued and confused. But when she saw the knife in his hands, she panicked. She tried to move away but couldn't as she was drugged.

"Neil..." she spoke weakly, "What are you going to do to me? Please don't...."

Neil didn't reply, he just stared at her with tearful eyes. He hugged her tightly feeling her beating heart and the warmth of her body for one last time.

"Shhh its OK" he said, "Everything is going to be alright now. Close your eyes honey, and know that I love you, I have always loved you. Forgive me if you can."

Aditi struggled for a while but she was helpless. She resigned to her fate. She closed her eyes and leaned against his chest. Neil placed the blade against her neck and with one swift motion made a deep cut. Aditi gasped and her eyes shot open and life rapidly drained out of her, as her blood stained Neil's hands. In less than a minute, she was cold and lifeless.

Meera walked into the room to find Neil completely broken and kneeling near his dead wife, his hands stained with her blood.

"Good," she said with a smile, "Now call the police and confess your crime. If you aren't sentenced to death, live out the rest of your days in prison."

"My daughters?" he asked in a defeated voice.

"I gave you my word. They are safe and will be returned safely to Aditi's parents, only after you are convicted. I want to world to see you for the murderer you are." Meera said bitterly.

The police came in and arrested Neil. He was trialled for Aditi's murder. There were enough witnesses against him, especially Aditi's parents who were aware of the issues the couple had been facing and knew about his infidelity and Aditi's intention to divorce him. They made a strong case against him. Neil was sentenced to be imprisoned for life.

Neil lived a life of despair in prison. He barely spoke and went for days without food. Meera had completely broken him. No one ever visited him. His children hated him because he killed their mother. He lost his family, his friends, his freedom and everyone who knew him, knew him as a murderer. For the first time in his life, he craved for love. He knew he'd do anything now for a little freedom, and a little affection. Perhaps for the first time in life that he felt so unloved and helpless, he understood Naina. He deeply wished he had treated her better. But it was now too late for that, far too late.
 
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Epilogue

“Send in the next patient,” Dr. Mithila instructed her assistant.

Meera entered the cabin. Mithila smiled brightly to see her.

“Close the door,” Mithila ordered her assistant who had escorted Meera, “And we are not to be disturbed till the end of this session.”

The assistant obediently nodded and left closing the door behind her.

“How are you Meera?” Mithila asked.

“I’m good…I just brought you a little something” Meera said offering a box of home made sweets, “I don’t think I could ever return the favor of what you have done to help me…I just thought I’d make you something sweet to say thank you…”

Meera had tears of gratitude in her eyes. Mithila held her hand firmly to comfort her.

“You are welcome Meera” she said gently patting her hand.

“I bought my way around most things…but you, you went out of the way to help me, you took risks to help me…and I’m just a nobody…”

“Don’t ever say that again Meera” Mithila said, “When I heard your story…you know Meera, in my line of work, I hear a lot of tragedies and I feel empathy for them…but you are so different, you are a fighter Meera, and all I feel for you is respect. And when I saw the videos Alisha accquired, I was convinced what I was doing was right.”

Meera smiled. She had a look of satisfaction on her face.

“So, everything went according to plan?” Mithila asked.

“Yes” Meera said taking a deep breath, “The virus you acquired was crafty. It was no big deal for Alisha to seduce that sex maniac. The hacker I hired also did his job well, giving me a strong lead over them. And I guess Reyansh didn’t notice that small needle prick until after 3 months when the virus started causing the disease”

“So how is he now?” Mithila asked with a wicked smile.

"Well” Meera said smiling back, “I did have one of my boys check on him, well the disease is destroying is his skin with every passing day. It has spread to his face now, making him look really ugly, and he has confined himself to his house now. I don’t think he’ll ever be able to live a normal life again.”

Meera leaned back on her chair and continued, “That son of a bitch was too proud of his looks. He thought he was so attractive that no girl would refuse him sex.” Suddenly her face was clouded with grief, “My sweet Naina di was loyal to the man she loved, so she so politely requested him not to touch her. And that bastard was so offended that he raped her!”

Mithila held Meera’s hand comforting her as Meera held back her tears. “I could have just used plain old battery acid, but that was not enough!” Meera said gritting her teeth, “I want him to melt and rot away slowly...very slowly...”

Mithila got up from her chair and offered a glass of water to Meera as she was getting agitated. Meera drank a sip of water and closed her eyes letting her tears flow.

“You’ve won the battle girl” she said patting Meera’s back gently. “Dr. Aarav’s suicide was all over the news, and Neil is rotting in jail. But Armaan is still out there…and honestly that worries me. You’ve wounded him deeply and let him go alive, are sure it is a wise thing to do?”

“I wouldn’t worry about him,” Meera said, “As long as Pankhudi is alive. He loves her deeply and his current focus is on finding her. I’ve asked the boys to make sure to keep her alive and keep moving her to different places frequently so that Armaan doesn’t find her too soon. Because once he does, he will come after me.”

"Are you really willing to take that risk?” Mithila asked.

“What’s the fun in killing, Mithila?” Meera asked, “I never intended to kill any of them. All I really wanted was to make them suffer for the rest of their lives. I took away from them what they loved they loved the most…and for Armaan it was Pankhudi. I was forced to become a prostitute because of him! Let that bastard burn! Let him know how it feels! Let him spend sleepless nights thinking of all that might be happening to his precious Pankhudi!”

“You are not getting my point Meera” Mithila insisted, “You will have to look over your shoulder for the rest of your life. Armaan is the wisest and richest among them and has the strongest network. I can’t imagine what he’s do if he gets his hands on you…or Alisha for that matter. He knows about Alisha, doesn’t he? Besides, I was never in favor of what you did to Pankhudi. She was a nice girl...she really didn't deserve that. And now you are still holding her captive...doesnt feel good Meera...”

"I know" Meera said with a sad expression, "Perhaps I've become a monster just like them, my desire for revenge turned me into something I hated the most...Pankhudi doesn't deserve this but she is the only thing that would keep Armaan on a leash. He won't dare to hurt you, me or Alisha as long as I have Pankhudi. And as long and I keep her alive, I'll always have something to trade.”

“Its not very reassuring Meera” Mithila warned, “I don’t have a good feeling about this. Please reconsider. If you don’t care for your life, at least secure Alisha. Armaan isn't someone you should be messing with.”

"If it really comes to a face off Mithila, I’ll show him what I can really do,” Meera said with a confident smile.

“I have faith in your abilities Meera” Mithila said, “Just, take care OK?”

“Thanks again for all your help and support Mithila” Meera said with a warm smile.

Meera left the clinic and went to the beach. The same beach where she found Naina’s broken shoe, where she cried and screamed at the injustice done to both of them.

She sat down on the sand and let the waves touch her feet. The cool sea breeze caressed her hair. The sun had set and the sky was crimson. A wave swept over her and the water drenched her completely. She closed her eyes and felt the water gently touch her body. He heart was finally at peace now.

“Rest in peace, my sweet Naina di” she whispered, "I won't ever let anyone hurt you."
 
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This is a heartfelt poem from Pankhudi written in her captivity, to her love, Armaan.

I’m lost in the dark,
In oblivion,
Can't leave, can't get away,
But I had a dream of you,
My heart just knew,
That you will find me one day.


I’m alone, I’m scared,
I’m so afraid,
They hurt me night and day,
But I’ll hold on,
For you to come,
And take me far away.


Each breath I take,
Away from you,
Burns deep inside of me,
I know you feel,
just as much pain,
After what happened to me.


This darkness gnaws,
Away at me,
I fight to keep my sanity,
I’m afraid I would,
No longer be,
The sweet loving girl I used to be.


I’m not as pure,
As I once was,
All I feel is hurt and shame,
But you are always,
In my heart,
And I still love you, all the same.


I’ll hold on, my love,
Forever, and more,
For the day, once more, you’ll be holding me,
Won’t give up on you,
Because I know,
You’ll never give up on me.
 

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