I am a typical Indian guy, graduated engineering got a job at a MNC and earning well enough, I have a modern open minded girlfriend and we regularly have sex and we do plan to get married some day soon. I have an elaatder sister, since we were born just 1 year apart we are very close to each other. We were classmates, best friends and have a love and hate relationship. She is very conservative and dresses very modestly. Early this year she our family got marriage proposal from a guy, apparently he was following her almost 8 years and finally proposed now that he made something of himself. The most surprising thing was he never my sister he loved her. After due deliberation we felt we cannot find a better match for her and so agreed for their marriage. But since we had death in the family last we asked him to wait till next year. A few months ago he called our family to join him on his birthday. Since the party was in different city my parents could not make it. When we reached his place then only I realized actually how rich he is. He is in different class compared to us. Rather than feeling happy for my sister I felt a bit jealous. The birthday was on Saturday we reached Friday night. The party was amazing. My sister wore a special sari which he bought for her. Sunday was all about shopping, We had a blast. Sunday evening around 6.pm from all the constant partying and shopping I couldn't help myself but to take a nap. When a woke up it was already 10 pm. I went around the house to find my sister and her to be husband and found them at the pool on the terrace. I was shell shocked to see her wearing a bikini. It was the first time I noticed how amazing her body really was. She tried to cover herself with a towel and when she failed to grab it hide behind her future husband. I felt like a third wheel and some how it bothered me. In the next few weeks she used to spend hours chatting with him on the phone, which I guess was natural but feel like I am loosing her. All i can think now is how her beautiful, sexy and curvaceous body would look and feel like. I keep trying to touch her playfully to feel her body. Tried many times to sneak a peak when she is taking a bath though unsuccessfully. I keep searching porn and imagine her body will be similar to that pornstar. And mastribute think about her. But every time I do that I feel sick of myself and make a promise never to do any of the above sinful acts. However, the next day I will become my pathetic self again. I even lost interest in my girl friend. I don't know what to do, I don't like being this. Please if any one can give advice, help me.
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