Horror Char Ratein (Horror) (Completed)

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Update 5

Update ki suruwaat huyi us bhootni ke football khelne se... bas fark itna tha ki football ki jagah wo chaukidaar football bana...
Wo chaukidaar kya ludak kar ahmad takraya aham sidha shidhiyo pe jaa gira... Btw ye to First update se hi girta hi aa raha hai.... ismein kounsi badi baat hai...
ooo to wo luka chupi wala khel chhod ab wo dono ruh saamne se aake dara rahi hai sabko ...
Bich bich mein sasha jis tarah se bhayanak aawaaz mein ahmad ko bachane ki baat puchti hai isse to yahi lage ki ahmad ko darane ke liye bich bich mein sasha ke sarir pe bhi kabza kar leti hai wo ruh .
Udhar wo chaukidaar bhi bhag gaya ye hidayat deke ki ahmad aur uski family bhi us ghar ko chhod ke chale jaaye... Lekin ahmad kahi bhi jaaye wo dono ruh uske piche piche aayegi..
mamle ki gambhirta ko dekh ahmad ne sasha aur hamna ko mama ke ghar chhod shayan se milne chala gaya. ..
Lekin yahi pe wo galti kar baitha... Kyunki uska saamanya kisi insaan se nahi balki so taakatwar ruh se thi...
wo akele ya shayan ke sath kar bhi kya leta agar wo dono ruh saamne aa bhi jaaye to...
Isse to achha mama ke ghar ruk kar saari baatein sabko bata deta..shayad koi solution nikal aata isse...
Lekin honi ko koun taal sakta hai.. Jo hona hai wo to hoke hi rahega...
ab buri kismat ho ya niyati... ahmad wapas laut gaya.... sath mein shayan ko bhi pick kar liya...
Lagta hai jaise car accident mein us aurat aur us bachhi ki maut huyi thi.. Thik waise hi ab ahmad ka bhi accident hone wala hai...car ab un dono ruh ki control mein puri tarah...waise ahmad ke sath sath Shayan bhi muft mein marne wala hai..
Jo gunah usne kiya tha ahmad ne aaj shayad uski saza milne wali hai aaj ushe...
Shaandar update, shaandar lekhni shaandar shabdon ka chayan aur sath hi dilkash kirdaaro ki bhumika bhi...

Let's see what happens next
Brilliant update with awesome writing skills :yourock: :yourock:
:thanks: for your wonderful review,
 
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mera khayaal yeh he ke ke shadi ke liye to donon raazi hein... magar yahan keval sawaal itna sa he ke bhootni ko vidaa kon kar gaa... aur woh kis ke gale lag kar roye gee... vidaa hote samay... Ahmad ke sath... :angsad:
uski shadi pehle se ho chuki hai bhai, aur rone dhone ki nobat aane hi nhi deni humne, samajh rhe ho na :D
 
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Pehale to iss update ke baare mein specifically review likhun… mein as a writer kehanaa chaahta hun… ke… ab tak ke 5 updates padhahte hue mera focus yeh bhee raha ke kaheen mein koee aesee ghaltee dhundun… jo ke iss horror story ko generally speaking… aik buree koshish banna de… ya phir mein ne yeh bhee socha ke agar mein khud yeh story likhta to kesse likhta… konsa aesa scene likhta jo ke bahut hee shandar hota… to dost bina kissi jhijhak ke mein yeh kahun ga mujhe dono hawalon se nakaamee huee…

Aik to mujhe ab tak kahanee mein koee jhol nazar nahee aaya… doosre yeh ke meri apnee imagination se badh kar yeh kahanee he…

Conclusion yeh he ke dost mujhe apne nakaamee par khushee huee…

Iss update… mein bhee dehsahat aur khauf ka basera he har taraf… sab se pehle to pretaatmaa ka shikaar banna chowkidar… chowkidar ke saath Ahmad bhee ludhak jata… bas kismet achee thee ke bach gaya… Chowkidar ka reaction bhee bilkul jayaz thaa…

Iss update mein khas baat mujhe jo lagee wo yeh thee ke Ahmad ne koi decision to liya… uss ne apnee wife aur daughter ko apnee in-laws ke paas chodne ka sahee decision liya… aik tarah se apne ghaltee ko own karte hue khud se haalat ka mukabala karne ka socha…

Ahmad ne bilkul theek socha ke camera lagane ka idea sahee nahe he aur uss se koi fayada hone wala nahee...

Update ka end bhee pooree tarah se daraonaa raha… Ahmad ke hath se car kee steering ka control nikal gaya… ab car ko chala rahee he pretaatmaa aur Ahmad aur Shayan kee maut to pakki he… phir bhee dekhte hein aage kaya hone wala he…

Interesting story… aik aesee kahanee jo ke reader apne sath bandh le… amazing plot… scene creation aur description bhee umadaa… aur sab se badh kar characters kese feel kar rahein hein… un emotions ko flawlessly likanaa… ghazab kar rahe ho bro… :goodjob:
:thanks: bhai itni tarif ke lie, aur shayad ab aap kamyab bhi ho jao mera matlab next update me kuch holes mil jayen aapko thank you ,
 
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Waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting
soon
 
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Update 05



Ahmad darte darte serhiyoun ki taraf barha lekin upper charhne ki himmat na kar saka "baba….baba" wo darte darte baba ko awaz lagane laga lekin upper se koi jawab nahi aaya , us ne bamushkil himmat bandh kar upper jane wali serhiyoun ki taraf kadam rakha lekin do char kadam se zyada uoer nahi charh saka uski himmat hi na ho saki

" baba salah din baba , …….. awaz sun rahe ho meri?" ek baar phir awazein lagane laga lekin upper se mukammal khamoshi ke siwa kuch naseeb na hua, albata us ki apni awaz use jaise gunjti wapas aati sunai di jo ek ajeeb si baat thi

Ek baar phir himmat kar ke wo zara sa aur upper charha , jabke ek pori sirhi abhi baki thi jo chat se milti thi, yaka yak use ek baar phir khof ne aa ghera aur wo wapas palat gya aur neeche uterne laga, bamushkil do kadam utra hoga ke koi cheez ludhakti hui us ke peeron se aa kar takrayi jis se wo apna tawazan barqarar na rakh saka aur kamar ke bal seerhiyoun par hi gira

Wo salah din baba tha jo serhiyoun par na jane achanak kahan se ludhakta hua aakar ahmad ke peeron se takraya tha.

Salah din baba behoshi ki halat me serhiyoun se ludhakta hua neeche aaya tha lekin ahmad ko takrane se pehle us ki koi awaz yahan tak ke ludhakne ki awaaz bhi nahi aayi…

"baba,……. Baba kia hua baba uthoo" wo khud ko sambhalne me kamyaab ho gya tha, ahmad jo baba ke upper hi gira tha is lie kisi kisam ki choot se mehfooz raha tha

Baba ko is halat me dekh kar ahmad ke toote urr gaye, ek nazar upper chat ki taraf mari jahan serhiyoun par andhera aur sannata khofnaak manzar pesh kar raha tha

Ahmad foran baba ko le kar kamre ki taraf bhaga aur us par pani daal kar hosh me lane ki koshish karne laga lekin na kamyan raha

Abhi wo baba ko hosh me lane ki koshish me tha ke use nichle floor se ek zor dar awaaz sunai di, is baar awaaz par sasha bhi choonk gayi thi , us awwaz ne mahol ko mukammal tor par khof ki lapet me le lia tha

"tum ne suni ye awwaz?" ahmad na kapkapati awwaz me pucha

Sasha ne haan me sar hilaya aur sehmi hui ahmad ki taraf dekhne lagi

"sasha tum baba ko dekho , pani waghera maro aur hosh me lane ki koshish karo main check karta hun" ahmad ne himmat kar ke khare hote hue kaha

"nahi ahmad mujhe bahout dar lag raha hai , aap yahin ruken please" sasha ne ghabrahat ke mare iltaja ki

"bas do mint, main check kar ke aaya" keh kar wo kamre se nikal gya

Kamre se nikal kar phonkte hue kadam rakhta wo neeche ki taraf utarne laga

Ye serhiyan un ke hall numa kamre me ja kar utarti thin jo in ka tv longe bhi tha aur dining rom bhi

Haal ki chhat ke darmiyan me aaraish ki garz se laga hua jhilmilata hua fanoos teezi se hil raha tha , jaise wo abhi gir jaye ga

Fanoos beshak bahot khubsurat aur bada sat ha , sath hi itna wazni bhi ke halki phulki hawa use hilla bhi nahi sakti thi, wo itni teezi se jhool raha tha ke jaise kisi ne use hilaya hoo

Fanoos ki jalti bujhti Roshni aur ke sheeshon ki khar'kharahat us pur'israr mahool ko aur khatarnaak bana rahi thi

"yaa khudaa …… ye kia majra hai ……….. " us ne khud se keh kar serhiyoun se neeche kadam barhana shuru kiye hi the ke wahan mojood sab ki sab lights khud ba khud off ho gun , lights band hona ahmad ke liye na hone wala waqiya tha ,

Ahmad ne wapas bhaag kar kamre ka rukh kiya aur kamre ke bahar switch board par hath mara to tamam switches off the , usne jaldi se on kar ke kamre me ghusne me hi ghanimat samjha

Baba ko ab hosh aane laga tha , sasha us se kuch fasle par khadi use aawazein de kar jagane ki koshish me lagi hui thi , ahmad ne baba ko kamar se sahara de kar bithaya aur wo bad hawasi ke aalam me idhr udhr ka jaiza lene laga

"kia hua baba" jaise hi us ko hosh aaya wo sasha ki taraf dekh kar ek dam khara hua aur darwaze ki taraf lapka

"baba kia huaa? Kahan ja rahe hoo" dono ne herangi se pucha

"hum ja raha hai , yahan kaam nahi kare ga " wo dantne ke andaaz me keh kar teezi se kamre se bahar nikla tha

Ahmad jaise hi us ke peeche jane ke lie kamre se bahar nikla ke tamam lights on dekh kar heran hue bagher na reh saka, switch board ke tamam switches bhi on the.

Ahmad bina ruke baba ke peeche peeche bhaga aur gate ke kareeb us ke mare me use rok lia

"baba kia hua , kyun bhaag rahe ho aise . upper chat par kia hua tha" ahmad ne apne hawaas par kabo pate hue puchaa

"choro hamein sahib , hum yahan kaam nahi kare ga hum jaa raha hai " wo apna zaruri saman jama kar raha tha

"are baba lekin hua kia hai ? kahan ja rahe ho , mujhe batao upper chat par kia hua " ahmad ne use rok kar kamre me mojood charpayi per bithaya

"sahib aap ne hamein upper bheja ke jao dekh kar aao kuch girah ai aawaz aayi hai, hum upper gya to begam sahiba aur human bibi upper khara hua tha"

Wo kapkapati hui awaaz me bata raha tha , ahmad ka munh ye sun kar khulaa ka khula reh gya

"phir??????????" ahmad ne foran puchaa

"sahib hum ne begam sahiba ke paas ja kar pucha ke kia hua hai to wo humein dekh kar hanstaa raha phir bolta hai , wahan kone me koi betha hua hai , ja kar dekho , humne wahan dekha to udhr kuch bhi nahi tha sirf gamle rakha hua tha, hum gamle ko dekhne wahan gya to begam sahiba ne hamein dhakka de dia , hum chat se neeche gir jata lekin lohe ka grill pakad ke hum bach gya , hum giraa nahi , phir hum khud ko sambhal ke wapas khara hua to begam sahiba ka chehra Roshni me sahi se nazar aaya , wo to koi aur tham aur humne phir dekha hamna bibi chat se neeche kudne ka koshish kar raha hai , wo dewaar par charh raha tha , hum bhaga us ko bachane ke lie , aur us ne hamara pohnchne se pehle chalang laga dia, hum foran neeche jhanka to udhar koi bhi nahi thaa, aur hamein aisa laga jaise kisi ne phir se dhakka dia ho, humne khud dubara girte girte bachaya aur wapas dekha to chat par koi bhi nahi tha , phir to hum neeche aane ke lie bhaaga to table khud ba khud hamein paun par takra gya aur hum zameen par gira, phir pata nahi kia hua, hamein kuch pta nahi hai "/…….

"sahib humne apni zindgi me bahot kuch dekha hai , hamein dar nahi lagta kisi se lekin ye hamein maar de ga , begam sahiba pehle hum se baat kar ke hamein wahan bheja phir un ka chehra badal gya,,, hamein marna chahta tha" baba ne ghabrate hue ukhri sanson ke sath sara qissa sunaya aur wapas apna saman jama karne laga

"achaa baba tum ruko , subah chale jana be shak" ahmad ne baba se rukne ki ilteja ki

"hum ja raha hai abhi yahan se , tum bhi jaao idhr se tumhara ghar me kuch hai" wo saaman utha kar bahar nikal gyaa

Ahmad ko yak dam sasha ka khyal aaya aur wo doud kar ghar ke andar ki taraf bhaga aur andar pohanch kar idhr udhr dekhe binaa foran upper ka rukh kia, kamre me sasha ko pa kar sakoon ka sans lia aur us ke barabar me ja kar beth gya…..use mehsoos hua sasha ek taraf kuch ghor ghor kar dekh rahi hai

Baba ke bare me puchne ki jaga ye kia dekh rahi hai ? ahmad ek zehan me khyal aaya aur us ne sasha ke kandhon se pakad kar harkat di " sasha …? Kia hua ? kia dekh rahi ho " ahmad ne kareeb hote hue pucha..

" TUM CHAHTE TO BACHAA SAKTE THE " ek wehshat bhari awaaz ahmad ke kanoo se takrayi , jo uski biwi ke muh se nikli thi, ankhein khoon ki tarah surkh aur chehra kayi dino ka thaka hua lag raha tha, us ne ahmad ki taraf gardan mor kar kaha

Awaz me kadre bhari pan tha , ye awwaz us awwaz se mukhtalif ne thi jo us ne jhariyoun me suni thi

Ahmad ko yun laga jaise us awaz ne use dur dhakeel dia hoo, aao dekha na taao foran darwaze ki taraf lapka aur use junhi kamre ka lock ghumaya wo band tha, ahmad zoor lagane laga ,

Usi kashmakash me uski ek nazar sasha par padi jo bahot pareshan pareshan aur ghabrai hui use dekh rahi thi , nazrein milte hi baba ke bare me puchne lagi

"kia hua tha baba ko , ahmad " ahmad ko uski asli awaaz aur chehre ke taasrat se ehsaas hua ke ye ek lamhe pehle wali sasha nahi hai m

"chalo yahan se chalte hai" ahmad ne sasha ka hath pakda aur dobara darwaza khola jo foran khul gya

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Kych der me wo log sasha ki mama ke ghar ke bahar khare the , jahan human pehle se ruki hui thi….

Raste bhar sasha puchne ki koshis karti rahi lekin ahmad teezi se gadi chalata raha aur kuch bhi bolne se mana karta raha

"sasha meri baat suno, goor se ," ahmad ne hidayat karte hue baat shuru ki

"main tumhein ammi ke ghar choor raha hun , ho sakta hai ek do din tumhein yahin rukna pade , mere saath ghar me kuch ajeeb waqiyat ho rahe hain aur us ke peeche ek bahi wajah hai jo maine tumse baad me share karun ga , tumhein apna aur hamna ka khyal rakhna hai aur me in cheezon se nimat kar tumhein wapas le luun ga" ahmad ne ek hi saans me mukhtasar qissa keh dala aur sasha hakka bakka us ka chehra dekhti rahi

"tum andar jaao ab me tum se phone par rabte me rahunga " ahmad ne use gadi se utarne ka ishara karte hue kaha , aur sakht lehje mi hidayat ki

"ahmad please aap bhi yahin ruk jayen , mat jayen wahan, mera dil doob raha hai, mujhe bahot khoof aa raha hai …….please ahmad" sasha ne fikar mandi se guzarish ki

"nahi me shayan ko le kar ghar jaun ga , tum fikar na karo, jao ab andar" ahmad ne chehre par jhooti muskurahat late hue kaha, sasha gadi se utar kar ghar ke andar chali gayi

Ahmad gadi wapas mod kar ghar ki taraf jaa raha tha, ye wahi rasta tha jise ahmad ne us accident ke baad aane jaane ke lie use kar raha tha, aur dusra rasta wo kab kaa chor chuka tha

Gadi dourate hue achanak ek moqe par ahmad ko ye ehsaas hua ke gadi ki pichli seat par koi mojood hai , us ne back mirrior me dekh kar tasalli kar li , wahan koi nahi tha , albata us ka khoof ko khatam hua hi nahi tha ab mazeed barh chuka tha

Gadi ki speed bahot teez ho gayi aur ahmad dil hi dil me apni kheriyat se ghar pohnchne ki duaa magne laga , sath sath wo back mirror me pichli seat ki taraf dekhta jata aur gadi ki andar ki light bhi on kar di..

Ek lamhe ke lie us ki nazar apne mobile par padi aur ke zehan me shayan ka khyal aaya, dusre chand lamhon me wo shayan ke sath line par tha

"shayan, main tujhe lene aa raha hun , jaldi se tyar ho ja, aaj mere ghar par rukna hai tujhe mere sath " ahmad ne jaldi se baat mukammal ki

" abe kia ho gya hai ? is waqt ? " shayan ne chonk kar puchaa , lekin agle hi lamhe call disconnect ho gayi…

Shayan ke ghar pohnchne se 2 mint pehle use call ki aur gate par aane ka bol dia

" kia ho gya bhai ? ab kia masla ho gya hai yaar " shayan ne ahmad ke pohnchte hi swal dag dia aur gadi me beth gya

"kia ho gyaa? Abe ye puch kia nahi huaaa!!" bhai puch mat kia kia ho raha hai, chowkidat baba bhag gya hai, lights khud on ho jati hain, kabhi off ho jati hain, fanoos hill raha hai, kabhi sasha apna roop badal rahi hai to kabhi lag raha hai gadi me piche koi betha hua hai , bas bahot ho gyaa, yaar ab kuch karna hi pare ga mujhe" ahmad ne tilmilaa kar sari baat sunayii aur ghusse me gadi teezi se bhagata raha

"oo bhai ! zyada jazbati mat ban, aqal se kaam lee aqal se , wo koi pehlwan nahi jis se tu is tarah ladne ja raha hia!!" shayan ne samjhane wale andaaz me kaha aur sath hi peche mud kar seat ko check karne laga

" abe yaar to main kia karun, ye mere peeche pad gayi hai, tum chahte to bachaa sakte the, tum chahte to bachaa sakte the , abe kahaan se bachata main, apni biwi aur bachi ko le kar un darakhton me ghussaa deta gadi? Accident kar deta gadi ka ? tu khud bata yaar tu meri jagha hota to kia karta ? yaar maine kia ghalat kia hai? " ahmad ne taqreban rohansi hote hui ghusse bhari awaaz me kaha

" bhai main samajh sakta hun, teri ghalti nahi hai , magar, use tu samjha sakta hai ye baat? " shayan ne ye keh kar ahmad ke hont siil diye…..aur sawalaya nazron se ahmad ko dekhne laga

Ahmad tezi se gado bhaga raha tha afsurda chehra bna kar gadi ki speed kuch kam kar di

" nahi yaar ……… lekin ab kia hal hai is masle ka shayan… kia karna chaiye hamein? Un Cameron ki madad se hum kia karen ge, sirf recording na? lekin hum kuch nahi kar paye to kal ko log camera ki recording me ye dekhen ge ke mujhe aa kar kisi ne maar dia phir? Kia faydaa" ahmad ke sawal ne shayan ko bhi sochne par majboor kar dia

Un ki baat cheet ke doran gadi ki speed kuch slow ho gayi thi m ahmad kin azar samne road par aur shayan back mirror me pichli seat par ghor kar raha tha, yaka yak ahmad ko aisa lagaa jaise samne andheraa chaa gya ho, windo screen par kale kapre numa kisi cheez ne samne ka manzar oojhal kar dia tha

Yaka yak gadi ka handle bayen taraf khud muda aur isi doran inhone mehsoos kia ke wo kisi andhere wali jagha me dakhil ho rahe hain

"shayan , gadi khud chal rahi hai , main kuch nahi kar paa raha " wo chilla chilla kar bol raha tha, aur break par zoor zoor se paun maar raha tha

"gadi rook ahmad ,,,, gaadi roooo, rooooook ahmad gadi rooook " shayan chilla raha tha

"shayaaan nnnn kuch kar yaar gadi khud chal rahi hai I I I I I ……. Shayaaa ………nnnn nnn " ahmad ki chekhein goonj rahi then


Dono buri tarah chilla rahe the aur sath hi mil kar handle ko morne ki koshish to kabhi darwaza kholne ki koshish karne lage, lekin kuch na kar sake………………………………….



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Continued……………………

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Bahut darawna update aur kya kahun
 

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